Concert Review: Suicide Girls Burlesque Show @ Magic Stick

High Heels, thongs, fishnets, strip tease’s. These are things most men dream of on a daily basis. But this is 2004 and we must now admit women do too. And maybe JUST AS MUCH. Internet sensation THE SUICIDE GIRLS paid a visit to our ‘fair city of sin’ last nite, and MOTORCITYROCKS was there.

I headed out round 9:30 with the (poor) assumption the show wouldn’t start until 11-ish, but I had guessed incorrectly. With Real Detroit’s write up on our local Spag and Helle’s Belle’s Burlesque troops this week, and erotic Dirty Show opening, I had misjudged, and thought the crowd would arrive fashionably late. Seems the majority of the 18 and over crowd had begun lining up at 7pm!!! Upon arriving at 10-ish, I knew trouble was in town as it took about 15 minutes to find parking. Crowds were seen crossing Woodward Avenue in the Stick’s direction, and I KNEW the show had sold out. Heading up the stairs I heard the first band in swing, bummed I was going to miss the rock…I hurriedly encountered mega-security man Red at the door, grabbed my four whiskey sours and bum rushed the stage. At first glance through the crowd, you’d think it was a rock fashion show. The threads were out in full effect, reminding me of how well-dressed our local rock scene really is.

Southgate’s very own BEDFORD DRIVE was in mid set and the crowd was enjoying every bit of it. Lead singer and guitarist Scott Anger had told me later that night of how they had won the opening slot in an online voting poll-and they deserved it. In his own words, the band is a blend of guitar driven, radio friendly melodic rock…that you can move to. He was right, the audience simply loved this band. Bassist Michelle Bojanowski added a lot to that vibe, adding her warm vocals and heavy backbeat to Ryan Looney’s drum beats. I always love a “we’re having fun” feeling when bands play, and guitarist Ed Sertage made me remember that motto. The back and forth banter between Ed and Scott really made this one fine up-and-coming band to notice. Well worth a repeat listen, and viewing, without a doubt.

Touring band BLOOM had accompanied the Show on several gigs already, and unfortunately added Detroit to its list. Unfortunately because of the somewhat hostile audience, who at this point were definitely in want of some leg and bosom action, they were not too politely received as the next band up. Mark Stuart’s distinctive vocals have quite an edge – his voice sounds at home on the bands guitar-laden, blues-influenced tunes. Will McGinniss adds a solid, equalizing bass line to their songs, giving BLOOM some sonically thick muscles to flex. I was pleased with their sound, style and stage presence. Too bad the constant hecklers had to upset their rhythm, this is one band that deserves a DETROIT apology and warm welcome second stab. Come back soon BLOOM. (not to be confused with Detroit’s Bloom)

Around midnight, the hot, wet dripping sex oozed out of the back drapes of the Stick and took to the Stage. Having seen our own local troops, as well as legendary Betty Page heir Dita Von Tease, I had high hopes given the websites huge cult following. While not exactly let down (hey, I am single after all!) I can’t say I wasn’t a bit disappointed. I had hoped for a more Prop oriented show, but was basically left to the skills and bodies of the troops. From the card girls ribbing for us to “SCREAM LOUDER BITCHES!” to the various acts, it was certainly titillating, but folding chairs and an umbrella or two don’t fair well against our local queens of the scene. Key standouts were the schoolgirl catfight and the Pabst Blue Ribbon beer bath…but the winner had to be the homage to old Quentin Tarintino. Folding chair center stage held the cop-garbed hottie, as her captor danced around her to the tune of Reservoir Dogs “Stuck in the Middle”. Yes, the lesbian overtones worked on this scribe, and I would have to admit to being aroused in all the right ways. A riotess send off, including turning the entire audience into a human chocolate sundae, complete with Redi Whip and Hershey’s Syrup, sent the audience home horny and sticky. Driving home left me thinking when’s the next burlesque show? And if anyone is unsure of her merits on becoming a burgeoning Burlesque dancer, they can simply give me a ring. I would be more than happy to review their act – and take pictures of course. Wink. Wink.

– Christopher Chouinard