GUIDED BY VOICES
My pal Lee Tigre and I leaned on the Majestic's south bar, taking in the half-full crowd of greybeards, spindly suburbanites, pudgy rockers, and Bobby Harlow. The sample was typical for a Guided by Voices show – the veteran Dayton drink-rockers had held sway over this corner of the white-boys-with-guitars-lovin' population for over a decade. Still, it was all coming to an end, as the surrounding chatter about eBay ticket auctions attested. Billed with typical sarcasm as the "Electrifying Conclusion Tour", GBV's current road swing had been proclaimed by none other than ringleader/toastmaster Robert Pollard as the band's farewell. The impending goodbye seemed to gnaw at some of the more comic-con like types crowding the bar for drinks. One guy in a battered fatigue jacket jostled us with his bulky shoulder bag. "Oh, sorry, heh-heh", he said through three days of salt and pepper stubble, eyes darting around all crazy. "I got two bottles tequila for Mr. Pollard in here,GUIDED BY VOICES and I'm not leaving 'til he drinks it all."

Tigre said it best: Tobin Sprout leads the world's best Guided by Voices cover band. Opening the show for his ex-band mates, Leland, MI's own Mr. Sprout rolled through a confident set built largely from his batch of quietly-done, yet often perfectly-rendered solo albums. A little bit chiming '60s, cut with lyrical non sequiturs and made to sound deceptively simple, Sprout's music was like GBV if they'd just stopped fucking around. Of course, it's that very fuckallness that defines the band and its main man Pollard. Just ask the Fatigue Jacket Hooch Smuggler. Wow, that's a name straight outta the Guided by Voices Song Title Generator.

Sprout departed gracefully, but before it was time for GBV, the band had a treat. In keeping with their farewell theme, their set opened with a purposely chintzy filmstrip showing snaps from years past. The shots floated on a background of fluffy clouds, accompanied by a cloying synthesizer soundtrack that might've wafted through a bingo hall in a previous life. The strip ended with script – "Guided by Voices: 1085 – 2004". And with that, six hundred awkward white men thrust their Budweisers to the heavens.

While I was hoping for a sort of greatest hits revue, I wasn't surprised when Pollard led his band through the usual set of obscurities, deep cuts, and the occasional anthem, punctuated by Pollard's Townshendian leg kicks and Daltry-fried microphone spins. Early highlights GUIDED BY VOICESincluded opener "Exit Flagger", "14 Cheerleader Coldfront", and "Gonna Never Have to Die". Of course, it wouldn't be GBV without the over-served factor, and Pollard was definitely in his cups. He rambled with amicable cynicism about the band's long strange trip, especially its experiences with the dangling flame of stardom. "We did the Cheap Trick tour", he said. "But we also got offered Pete Yorn, and we turned that shit down". Matador's publicists weren't spared the Pollardian tongue, either. Introducing a song as the one they played on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien", he went on to dismiss the label's wishes that they play "a hit". There were some hits sprinkled through the set on Tuesday, however. "My Impression Now" set up the Bee Thousand nugget "Gold Star for Robot Boy", and though the "I Am a Tree"'s ecstatic lead guitar line and arena rock drum fills were dulled somewhat by arriving after the set saw its first drained whiskey bottle, the song is still a GBV catalog highlight.

So Ric Ocasek didn't join them onstage, and the set wasn't "Teenage FBI" fifty times. Instead, Guided by Voices' "final" show in Detroit was…pretty much like all their other appearances. You know, stretches of randomness exploded by genius. Those types in the crowd ate it up, hopping up and down and trying to keep up with Pollard's Herculean thirst. Guided by Voices did the collapse exactly as they should have, right into the outstretched arms of the fans that had always loved them. I only saw Pollard drink one of those Tequila bottles though, so the Fatigue Smuggler's probably still out there, holding on hope.  - Johnny Loftus



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